In Her Eyes
by Jubileyn
Summary: [Edited] '... all suddenly became clear to Harry it wasn’t Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all...' NTRL


Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, it's all Jo's.

Author's Note: My parents let me on their computer for an hour, so I thought I'd publish my new oneshot. It's pure and total fluff. The quotes are directly from _The Half-Blood Prince_. (Don't sue me! D) Review please!

**In Her Eyes**

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"You see," said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely--"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times…."

And the meaning of Tonks's Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it wasn't Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all.

"And I've told _you_ a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor… too dangerous…."

Direct quote from _The Half-Blood Prince_ by J.K. Rowling

pg. 626

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She sat silently on the dewy grass, gazing up at the heavens. He was gone, leaving her feeling colder and more despairing than she had ever felt before. He left them to fight the greatest enemy of the Wizarding world alone. She shivered. She always wanted what she couldn't have. The fact that he wasn't here anymore gave Remus the new excuse he was looking for to shut her out. With Dumbledore dead, it was too dangerous for them to be together, or so he would argue. She never replied, just frowned at him and turned away before he could see her cry.

She crossed her arms and rested them on her knees, laying her head on her arms. She stared at the ground, her vision blurred from the tears slipping down her cheeks. She wiped them away roughly. A twig snapped.

"I know you're there," she said coldly. He sat down beside her sheepishly, and was a bit hesitant to do so at that. She glared at him.

"Don't look at me like that," he said quietly. She continued to glare. "I know how you must be feeling."

"Do you?" she asked waspishly.

"Yes. And I'm sorry, because it's my fault," he said softly.

"It doesn't have to be."

"Don't start that again," he mumbled. She frowned at him.

"No, I will start _that_ again until you listen to me. I. Don't. Care. Will you ever just accept that? Or is that not good enough for you either?"

He rubbed his forehead in exasperation. "I never said that you weren't good enough. I said I wasn't. And I'm not. So _leave it_."

"No, I won't leave it. Just tell me what I want to know," she begged. "You never told me."

"Tell you what?" he asked.

"You know what, you berk," she said. "Come _on_, can't you just…."

"Yes, I love you," he confessed, his voice almost inaudible. But she heard him.

"Then why won't you…."

He cut her off. "That's precisely why I didn't answer you before. I'm not having this discussion," he said angrily, standing up and walking back towards the castle.

"Damn it, Remus. Don't walk away from me when I'm bloody talking to you," she called in frustration.

And yet, he walked on, even though it hurt him to just leave her there. "Tonks, this conversation is over," he said, not stopping or even looking back.

She followed him, nearly tripping on her robes in her haste to catch up to him. When she did, she grabbed his robes and pulled on his arm. He tried to free himself from her grip, but she wouldn't let him. "Please stop."

He walked on.

"Please," she cried, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. He sighed, but stopped. She got in front of him. He wouldn't look at her eyes. She grabbed his chin and made him meet her gaze.

"I've already told you," he said dismissively. "I am too old, too poor, and too dangerous for you. And as much as it hurts me to admit it, and it does, I'm not good enough for you either."

He was about to ramble on, but was interrupted by Tonks's hand slapping him smartly across his right cheek. "That's the last time I am going to listen to you say those things about yourself. You are too good enough for me. Don't be so thick, Remus. I've said it before and I'll say it again. None of that matters to me."

"That doesn't make a difference."

"Oh," she said coolly. "So now what I think doesn't make a difference? Is that it?"

"That's not what I meant. But what doesn't matter to you matters a great deal to me."

"But, Remus…."

He held up his hand to silence her. "No. I'm not the person for you. I'm just somebody you had the misfortune of falling in love with."

"Remus," she choked. "You're not just anybody. And if you won't let me have you, then I don't want anyone else. Not many things are absolute but one thing is for certain. I love you." A single tear fell down her face. She flicked it away.

He shook his head at her. The tears, himself, this whole mess... What was he supposed to do? He didn't know. For once in his life, Remus Lupin had no answer. He had always been the intelligent one at school, the brightest of the Marauders. But somehow, James, of all people understood love more than he did!

He looked at the brown-haired girl for a long minute. Was he really worth that much? He doubted it. But he knew pushing her away again would hurt him far more than it would hurt her. She was young enough to find someone else.

Almost as if she had read his mind, Tonks murmured fiercely, glaring at the ground with her arms crossed, "I won't. You can't make me."

"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked her quietly, out of exasperation. "Why can't you just_ let it go_?"

Her glare was directed at him now. "You mean, why can't I let you go?" she corrected scornfully.

He nodded. She narrowed her eyes. "If I'm not mistaken, we've been over that," she said crossly. "You can't possibly have forgotten already."

Remus thought. Apparently, when one was in love one was not supposed to think. One was supposed to be impulsive and spontaneous and one was supposed to like it. He couldn't promise closeness, he knew that. But he could promise love. Even if she did move on (which she had refused to do twice now), he knew he never would.

A drizzle started to fall and Tonks' eyes were fixed on him. "Come on," he said, grabbing for her hand.

"We're not done her- oh," she said softly, as she felt the pressure of his hand on hers. She didn't say anything else. But when he glanced her way, he could have sworn he saw the faintest trace of a smile.

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An extraordinary assortment of people had already settled into half of the chairs; shabby and smart, old and young. Most Harry did not recognize, but a few he did, including members of the Order of the Phoenix: Kingsley Shacklebolt; Mad-Eye Moody; Tonks, her hair miraculously returned to vividest pink; Remus Lupin, with whom she seemed to be holding hands….

Direct quote from _The Half-Blood Prince_ by J.K. Rowling

pg 641

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